Reflections on Lovingkindness Day 6 of 10: The Power of Forgiveness
Do you harbor anger and resentment in your heart towards someone who hurt you?
Is your mind constantly preoccupied with a situation where someone behaved in such unbelievable ways towards you that it is hard to let go?
Do you find yourself being angry, irritable, and blaming some people?
If so, today's practice of sending lovingkindness to a difficult friend may give you the solutions to find a peaceful heart.
Here’s my takeaway from Sharon’s Day 6 Meditation:
The Power of Forgiveness
Day 6 meditation was about sending loving-kindness to a problematic friend or person.
Well, let me tell you that I had a lot of people to choose from for today's meditation! I could not settle on one person, so I am sending loving-kindness to several people in my life who have mistreated me in some ways.
Though I have done a lot of work around forgiveness and unconditional love towards these people, there was no emotional charge anymore. It was nice to revisit the situations and strengthen my sense of peace around them.
As I was meditating, I also pondered why we humans let anger and resentment cumulate? We collect them in a library of our minds that has volumes and volumes of grievances.
This library is not a lovely and peaceful place to go and have some afternoon tea and relax. It is a torturous place of negative emotions and deep hurts that keep jabbing at our core being.
This library is likely sucking the very life force out of you, leaving you exhausted and depleting your resources.
Who is the librarian, though? How is this library funded?
It is funded by our sense of righteousness, powerlessness, scarcity- and victim mindset, and the librarian is none other than ourselves!
"My friend - you do not need such a library to occupy your mind and eat at your heart which is why I am inviting you to let go and forgive!"
I know that now you may think, "Ha! Paula, believe me I have tried!"
I know you have, and the fact that it is still there tells me that it continues to serve some unconscious purpose. We may never find what this purpose is unless we do some deep and radically honest self-reflection. The good news is that we don't even need to know the intention to let it go with forgiveness and compassion.
Here are a few words about forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not about saying what happened was ok. It is likely that your anger and hurt are very justified, AND you can still let it go.
It is not about you somehow letting the other person "off the hook.” You merely unhook and free your own heart so you may be free to love and trust again.
Forgiveness is about deep compassion and understanding towards the person who mistreated you and understanding that they acted from their suffering and pain. People who hurt us are also hurting.
A child that yells at you, "I hate you!" does not hate you but feels hurt and like he does not belong.
Forgiveness work begins with forgiving yourself first, then asking for forgiveness from those you have mistreated, and finally forgiving those who have mistreated you.
"Forgiveness is about putting the fragments of your heart back together so you can feel whole again, so that you can live in peace, love and be loved."
May You BE Safe, BE Healthy, BE Happy and Live with Ease,
Paula
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