As you have probably figured out, parenting is a journey with unexpected turns and confusing intersections where you simply don’t know which way to go.
Or perhaps you feel like you have finally figured things out and are coasting, only to discover that soon enough, what you were doing no longer works.
It might feel like you are constantly “behind” or “catching up” what’s next, and never have a handle on things.
If so, you are having a very normal parenting experience!
See, parenting is not about arriving at any destination or having it all “under control.”
Human beings are very complicated, and growing up is a messy and unpredictable process.
My invitation for you is to let go of the idea that you will have it all mastered one day, and instead enjoy the day to day moments, learning and growing together with your child.
Remember, you have only been a parent as long as your child has been on this earth! As your child is growing, so is your confidence about being a parent. You don’t need to have it all figured out ahead of time!
The best tools in your parenting toolbox are unconditional love, flexibility, attunement, patience, being present and compassion.
I am here to support your parenting journey which is why I have put together a reading list for 2022.
You can empower yourself with the right kind of information which will help you not only understand your child and what is normal but to understand yourself as well which in and of itself is what most parenting gets to be about – self-awareness.
You will always BE a parent which is why I recommend that you shift from viewing “parenting” as something that you DO into BEing the kind of parent your children need to grow into happy, healthy adults.
This book list will support you in becoming the very best version of yourself!
Dr. Daniel Siegel & Dr. Tina Payne Bryson’s best selling book The Whole Brain Child gives you all the basics about brain development and practical strategies to support your child’s healthy brain development. It is absolutely vital to understand how your child’s brain and nervous system works so that you can have effective response to their emotional needs
The Power of Showing Up is Another book by Dr. Daniel Siegel & Dr. Tina Payne Bryson in which they sum up the latest findings of brain and attachment research so that you can show up for our child in the way that they need you to.
The Gardener and the Carpenterby Alison Gopnik puts a whole new perspective and spin on what parenting is all about. If you are a science geek and interested in finding out all the details about how they do research about child development, this is a great book to get into the nitty gritty understanding of how children learn. It will absolutely support you in your parenting!
HEAL YOURSELF SO YOU CAN STOP BEING TRIGGERED
If you have not yet read Parenting From the Inside Out by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Mary Hartzell, it would be a great time to start this inner healing journey so that you can resolve your own childhood trauma, raise your awareness and be less triggered with your child.
I dare you to read How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t With Your Kids by Carla Naumburg without laughing out loud. She puts some humor into “not so funny at the time” situations and helps you understand why you get triggered and what to do about it.
Peter Levine and Maggie Kline’s book Trauma Proofing Your Kids will give you all the tools to help your child bounce back from trauma stronger and healthier. This book is a must read even if you don’t think your child has experienced trauma because chances are that he or she has but you may not be aware of it.
Reading Beyond Consequences, Logic and Control by Heather Forbes will help you finally understand why your child does certain behaviors like lying, stealing, defiance and aggression. This book along with Heather’s other books, helps to put these baffling behaviors into perspective of the stress model. Once you understand the underlying reasons for your child’s behavior, you can address the root cause of it which often is stress and/or trauma!
Aletha Solter’s book Cooperative and Connected will teach you attachment based parenting in which you are able to create an amazing, connected and safe bond with your child by being loving, accepting and responsible to their emotional needs. This book will give you a perspective that will help you put any power struggles to an end. I highly recommend this book if you ever worry about spoiling your child, or you feel your child is manipulating you.
Peaceful Parent, HAPPY KIDS by Dr. Laura Markham is all about how to connect with your child in any situation which will result in deep emotional bond, safety and a long lasting positive relationship.
Play is the language of children. Where many parents go wrong, is in not being silly, goofy and playful enough with their children. Many stressful and tense situations and conflicts can be resolved by not being so serious and getting playful instead. Lawrence Cohen tells you how to do that in his book Playful Parenting which is an amazing resource when you are stuck and not knowing how to get silly with your kid.
PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION & LEADERSHIP
Judith Rich is a world renown transformational leader. In her book Beyond the Box: Lean Out, Break Free, Rise up!, she shows you a world outside the box in which you have been conditioned into. She will show you a way out of the box so you can create a fulfilling life experience. Your parenting efforts will go only as far as you have developed your leadership skills.
I have the absolute pleasure of calling Michael Strasner one of my coaches and mentors. He is passionate about empowering people to live a life worth living, and committed to people and families creating an unprecedented life experience that goes beyond the common survival mode and mindset of mediocrity. In his book Living on The Skinny Branches Michael gives you powerful tools to “create power, freedom, and a life worth living.”
Lisa Kalmin is another elite transformational leader that I have the pleasure to know and work with. Her ‘straight to the point’, ‘no-nonsense approach’ will support you in shifting from powerlessness and victimhood into empowerment and responsibility. She shares her nuggets of wisdom in her book: The Problem is How You See The Problem.